Updated: Jun 5

Hey Girl! How have you been?!!! Me? Well…Let’s just say that I have cried every day since May 25th. On some days I have sobbed.

The first few days of George Floyd’s death I cried in secret, unbeknown to my family. I didn’t want to explain to them my tears, because I couldn’t even explain them to myself. The only thing I knew was that his death felt close. Like a dad, an uncle, or a brother. My escalated emotions resulted in me getting offended at my husband over something very trivial. It wasn't until we confronted the argument that I came clean about my emotions. It resulted in me sobbing in his presence. My secret was out. He seemed a bit surprised that the recent events had effected me so deeply.

Another reason for my grief is, I loathe division and strife. It disturbs my soul. God must have equipped me that way in preparation for my assignment, which is to UNITE women of all colors. An assignment that has been very difficult at times. Why? Because one of the groups share the same skin color as many of this nations oppressors, whose crimes of injustice I have despised for years. I wasn’t sure how to speak against that, and unite at the same time without seeming offensive or anti, or even worse. DIVISIVE!!!

In all transparency, at times, it caused great turmoil within. But, no more. I can’t be responsible for people’s unwillingness to confront truth, and come together for a solution. Those that get it, and are not afraid to face the uncomfortable, sometimes excruciating pain of growth, will be the ones who will unite with the mission of PrayHers, where the leader is a black woman. You do know that there are a lot of members of society who believe that they “can’t get with” a black leader? That’s why I made that distinction, but it’s ok because we are opening our hearts that we may heal.

So, how do we prepare for the days ahead? How do we ensure that we are not swept into depression, anger, resentment, or apathy? Let me offer you a few of my own doings:


1. Exercise: When I don’t exercise I start to feel down and a little depressed. Studies show that exercise can make you happy. I can attest to that! When I exercise it’s like brain power. I think clearer, I feel less stressed, energized, and well, happy! Unfortunately, I don’t get to experience that effect until after I put in the work. Find the thing you enjoy. I have turned to biking, and I love it, especially when I ride with my husband.

2. Laugh: Proverbs 17:22. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Nothing like a good laugh to aid the pain. Last night my husband and I laughed at a Saturday Night Live video on YouTube. Let’s just say Kenan Thomas is…HILARIOUS!!! In moments of laughter it’s hard to think about sadness.

3. Pamper Yourself: I love those moments when I can play in makeup, soak my feet, or watch a good, non-stressful, non-violent feel good movie. A cute romance. I am notorious for lighting candles, and creating an environment that calms my soul. I am a fan of lavender. I will spray it around the room when I am trying to get into a space of calm. Smell goods, for me is a form of pampering.

4. SHUT IT DOWN!: Yes, all caps so that you don't miss it. Shut down social media, the news, and bad energy. Limit your exposure. Exposing yourself to constant drama and negativity will make your stress levels skyrocket. Before I started writing, my hearts beats per minute (BPM) was 65 according to my Apple Watch. As I started writing the intro it creeped up to 91. Now, that I am writing about ways to destress, my BPM decreased to 78.

5. GOD FIRST: Caps again! Number 5 is my number 1. There is NO WAY I could manage the stressors of life without checking in with my commander, God. My chief priest. My Maker. The one who guides me through turbulent times. His presence calms me, and His Word soothes me. Yes, I am still referring to God-LOL. He is like exercise to my soul. He keeps me happy, and reminded that this too shall pass.

Ladies, as I conclude know that as an organization, and as an individual I pray for you. I pray that you will be intentional about keeping those stress levels down, because stress can wreak havoc in our bodies. I pray that you will still find reasons to laugh and smile as we fight to unite.

Until next time, I am praying yours, and I hope you are praying mine!


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Arlington TX, 76006